An Ass

'Oh, this is the memorandum, is it?' said Brass, running his eye over the document. 'Very good. Now, Mr Richard, did the gentleman say anything else?'
'No.'
'Are you sure, Mr Richard,' said Brass, solemnly, 'that the gentleman said nothing else?'
'Devil a word, sir,' replied Dick.
'Think again, sir,' said Brass, 'it's my duty, sir, in the position in which I stand, and as an honourable member of the legal profession, the first profession in this country, sir, or in any other country, or in any of the planets that shine above us at night and are supposed to be inhabited - it's my duty, sir, as an honourable member of that profession, not to put to you a leading question in a matter of this delicacy and importance. Did the gentleman, sir, who took the first floor of you yesterday afternoon, and who brought with him a box of property - a box of property - say anything more than is set down in this memorandum?'
'Come, don't be a fool,' said Miss Sally.
Dick looked at her, and then at Brass, and then at Miss Sally, again, and still said 'No.'
'Pooh, pooh! Deuce take it, Mr. Richard, how dull you are!' cried Brass, relaxing into a smile. 'Did he say anything about his property? - there.'
'That's the way to put it,' said Miss Sally, nodding to her brother.
'Did he say, for instance,' added Brass in a kind of comfortable, cozy tone - 'I don't assert that he did say so, mind; I only ask you, to refresh your memory - did he say, for instance, that he was a stranger in London - that it was not his humour or within his ability to give any references - that he felt we had a right to require them - and that, in case anything should happen to him, at any time, he particularly desired that whatever property he had upon the premises should be considered mine, as some slight recompense for the trouble and annoyance I should sustain - and were you, in short,' added Brass, still more comfortably and cozily than before, 'were you induced to accept him on my behalf, as a tenant, upon those conditions?'
'Certainly not,' replied Dick.
'Why then, Mr. Richard,' said Brass, darting at him a supercilious and reproachful look, 'it's my opinion that you've mistaken your calling, and will never make a lawyer.'