Doggerel

The sons of the Prophet were brave men and bold,
And quite unaccustomed to fear.
But the bravest of all was a man I am told
Named Abdullah Bulbul Ameer.

When they needed a man to encourage the van
Or harass a foe from the rear.
Storm fort or redoubt they had only to shout
For Abdullah Bulbul Ameer.

This son of the desert in battle aroused
Could split twenty men on his spear.
A terrible creature when sober or soused
Was Abdullah Bulbul Ameer.

The heroes were plenty and well known to fame
That fought in the ranks of the Czar.
But the greatest of these was a man by the name
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

He could imitate Irving, play poker or pool
And strum on the Spanish guitar.
In fact quite the cream of the Muscovite team
Was Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

The ladies all loved him, his rivals were few
He could drink them all under the bar.
Come gallant or tank there was no one to rank
With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

One day this bold Russian had shouldered his gun
And donned his most truculent sneer.
Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe
Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer.

"Young man", quoth Bulbul, "Has your life grown so dull
That you're eager to end your career?
Vile infidel know you have trod on the toe
Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer."

"So take your last look at the sunshine and brook
And send your regrets to the Czar.
By this I imply you are going to die,
Mr. Ivan Skavinsky Skivar."

Said Ivan, "My friend, your remarks in the end
Will avail you but little, I fear.
For you ne'er will survive to repeat them alive,
Mr. Abdullah Bulbul Ameer."

Then this bold Mamalouk drew his trusty skibouk
With a cry of "Allahu Akbar".
And with murderous intent he ferociously went
For Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

They parried and thrust, they sidestepped and cussed
Of blood they spilled a great lot.
The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes,
Say that hash was first made on that spot.

They fought all that night 'neath the pale yellow moon,
The din it was heard from afar.
And multitudes came, so great was the fame,
Of Abdul and Ivan Skivar.

As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life,
In fact he had shouted, "Huzzah!"
He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck,
Count Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

The Sultan drove by in his red-crested fly,
Expecting the victor to cheer.
But he only drew nigh just to hear the last sigh
Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer.

Czar Petrovich too, in his spectacles blue
Drove up in his new crested car.
He arrived just in time to exchange a last line
With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

A tomb rises up where the Blue Danube rolls,
And 'graved there in characters clear,
Is "Stranger when passing, oh pray for the soul
Of Abdullah Bulbul Ameer."

A splash in the Black Sea one dark moonless night,
Caused ripples to spread near and far.
It was made by a sack fitting close to the back
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.

A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,
'Neath the light of the pale polar star.
And the name that she murmurs so oft as she weeps
Is Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.